Single Men Don't Grocery Shop

I’ve utilized online dating websites for much longer then I’d like to admit (off and on for 10 years). So most of the tips or advice about navigating online dating, aren’t much more than common sense at least to me, except once in a while I do actually find some tips that useful. Whenever I come across articles I give them a quick read and so when I read a recent one posted on Jezebel.com I thought hey maybe there is some worthwhile advice. Of course once I finished the article, I thought I’m already doing pretty much everything they are recommending.

A couple things that seem pretty obvious to me but apparently not to everyone, things like actually reading through an entire profile before messaging people. This one always seemed like a no brainer; sure I typically look at the woman’s pictures before I read the profile. As much as we would all like to believe otherwise, the person has to be attractive or at least something about them visually that makes them attractive to you. It’s all well and good to read a profile and think wow, this person is exactly the type I’m looking for, then you see the pictures and even with the best personality, if the looks don’t grab you like their description it’s likely it will never go further than the 2 minutes you spent reading about her.

Then there are things like commenting on specific things said in the profile, again to me that’s how I get ideas when writing to someone I know nothing about. I find common interests or a mention that they did something or moved here recently. These are great things to write about to someone you want to meet, showing them that you take the time to try to get to know them and not just send the usual one sentence email “hey you’re hot we should meet”. Here is the funny thing though, you wouldn’t believe how many women will message guys and do exactly what they hate, send a one sentence email saying something to the effect of let’s chat or you’re hot.

For whatever reason, I seem to attractive women that are on the large size, not sure exactly why that is but those are the ones who always message me first. Unfortunately, I’m not attracted to large women, never have been, just not my type. I would say that almost all of them do the one sentence email to me and think just because I’m a guy I will respond to something like that. Granted just like I do when I write to women, I’m putting myself out there and a good chance will get the rejection no response response from women. The difference is I actually take the time to read and write a few paragraphs when I email them. Why do women think that the standard they hold men to when receiving emails shouldn’t also apply to them when writing guys?

The other recommendations on Jezebel go into, not sounding creepy referring to general statements about common interests without actually being specific about what they are. Also things like complimenting them within your message but again you can’t just say they are attractive in whatever verbiage you think won’t sound creepy, it’s more about commenting on their interests and less about focusing on their looks, at least via email.
Then the article goes into things like asking questions about their interests or something else interesting that caught your attention in their profile. Lastly, they go into other obvious areas, at least to me, like being embarrassed about utilizing online dating and about not emailing back and forth for too long, you don’t want to create a false image based on your emails/texts/ims etc..

Granted I think that a lot of the advice they give is good and I’m sure people who haven’t used dating sites in the past will find these tips useful. Unfortunately, I’ve been using sites for way too long and I know majority of the information they put out there on being successful in the online dating scene. My problem is, that I know all this and constantly apply it when I send a message to someone I find interesting and yet most times I don’t get a response or I get the women I’m not attracted to message me. So while it’s all good advice, still does nothing if you still have to play the numbers game on messaging women. I think I average about 1 response out of 20-30 messages sent. So even in cases that you do everything right, you are still wrong for the women you are messaging, at least that’s been my experience.

Here is the link to the article. What do you think, is online dating really worthwhile?

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